I have to say that Castle Crashers is an amazing game, the music especially is great. But most of all, the art design really stands out. It reminds me a little bit of Paul Robertson’s stuff (Pirate Baby’s Cabana Battle Street Fight 2006), but WAY less gory, lol. CC really takes me back to the beat-em ups of old.

E.A.W.

Ah! I forgot about Captain Commando! Baby Head rocks! You know what else I forgot about? Arcade Battletoads!

I always play as Blaze, too! –Cary

I think “gaming comfort food” is a brilliant description. Arcade-style games are my go-to games for when I want to get a few minutes’ gaming in, and while I do enjoy zoning out with a “pure” shoot ‘em up, it’s the beat ‘em up genre that I turn to when I want to relax. No complicated patterns or controls to memorize, just jab the “hit” button 4 times to unleash a devastating combo.

And my favorite beat ‘em ups are what are often called “2.5D”. That means the graphics are 2D but in that odd forced perspective that allows you to move forwards/backwards/in/out. This is what I think of when I’m talking about “real” beat ‘em ups, so while I love it anyway, I’m going to remove Viewtiful Joe from your list, and I’m going to call games like DemolishFist “2.95D”

With that out of the way, I’m going to respond to each game in turn:

Double Dragon – I enjoyed it at the time in the arcade, mainly because it was something different (Renegade – with the same Kunio-kun characters you like from River City Ransom and Super Dodgeball! – might have come first, but it was never in any arcades I went to – I only played it later on the ZX Spectrum). It doesn’t really hold up though, but the intro scene still cracks me up even though it shouldn’t – the girl gets punched in the stomach and thrown over the bad guy’s shoulder!

Final Fight – this is the real father of the 2.5D beat ‘em up, setting the model for practically every subsequent game. Large sprites, simple mechanics – one button jumps, one button hits, both at the same time do a super move. Big guy, fast guy, all-rounder. Like you say Cary, it easily stands up today, just as playable as it was almost 20 years ago. However, the original arcade game doesn’t have the dash maneuver, which is why I tend to play the SNES sequels more. Plus they have female characters, and I always choose the girl
Speaking of which, the SNES games have the female enemies removed. Poison isn’t an issue because (s)he is replaced by a generic thug dude (even the Sega CD version is edited, as Poison wears a lot less clothing in the original)

River City Ransom – I never had a NES until recently, and while I know this is a beloved game, I can’t get into it. I don’t think the majority of NES titles hold up over time, to be honest – there are just too many technical limitations.

Streets of Rage – yeah, it’s heavily influenced by Final Fight (like every other subsequent game in the genre!) but overall I actually prefer this series. I think it’s because it tries to be “cool” and as a result is hilariously dated. It just screams early 90s, especially the Skate character. My favorite is easily the third game, despite having worse music than the first two, because of the dash mechanics. And yes, I always play as Blaze.

Golden Axe – unlike you, I loved this game, I just never really considered it a beat ‘em up for a long time. I suppose you could argue it’s a “hack ‘n’ slash” instead, but that’s a pretty blurry line. The ridable creatures, potions, and the thieving elves all made this a unique title that I would always play in the arcade (and the pretty much arcade-perfect Amiga version). The Genesis sequel was decent too (II, I never played III), though more of the same (and Tyris has even more cleavage) but the real arcade sequel, Golden Axe: The Revenge of Death Adder is.. odd. It’s good, but it gets rid of almost all the heroes and gives you new ones, including Dora, a centaur armed with what look like those stick things from American Gladiators.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I never played this as a kid. Shocked? Well, I played Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles. At the height of “won’t someone think of the children?!” hysteria in the UK, the word “ninja” was forbidden. I didn’t know I had played the arcade Ninja Gaiden until I found out that was the real name of Shadow Warriors (incidentally, it was an early beat ‘em up too). Anyway, back to TMNT. I do think people love it more for nostalgia reasons rather than it being a great game, because when I’ve played it lately it’s felt pretty cheap. I don’t think Digital Eclipse made it harder Cary, I just think it’s a lot harder than we remember – even setting the arcade dipswitch to “easy” only helps some, the game was a total credit eater. Still, I have fond memories of it because my friends and I would play it in college when they got a cabinet in the refectory area, feeding it ten pence pieces until well after class started. I agree that Turtles in Time holds up better; it’s more forgiving and has a run mechanic (as well as that fun “throw the enemy toward the screen” thing like the arcade version of Battle Toads)

The Simpsons Arcade Game – Like the Turtles, it’s that same cheap Konami credit eating game that I only like because Sam and I once played it through on the Xbox. It starts weird with the evil Smithers and just gets weirder. I enjoy it only for the irony – with Matt Groening making several comments about violent videogames in the show, it’s amusing that this is just a mindless violence game.

Alien vs Predator – After a few “original” games, Capcom switched to licenses for their beat ‘em ups, and while this still has a very Japanese feel for what is a very Western property, they pull it off well. The guns add another dimension to the beat ‘em up feel, though they overheat quickly so you are still mostly kicking and punching and using melee weapons. I never played this in the arcades but have played quite a lot of it since via MAME. I like its hectic pace and large amount of enemies, it’s good for blowing off steam.

Captain America and The Avengers – again, this isn’t something I played in the arcade. I’ve tried it a couple of times under MAME but just can’t get into it, despite liking the source material, I think it’s the comparitively tiny sprites that put me off. The background art is very nice though.

Sonic Blast Man – I’d never heard of this, so thanks for the heads up!

The Ninja Kids – this is one of those games you just discover on your own, and wonder how it ever got released in the US. Much more violent than most other beat ‘em ups in terms of slicing people up, and an enemy design that could very easily be called racist, it’s actually pretty decent and does a good job of providing a different feel depending on which character you choose to play.

Sengoku – this is definitely one of my most-played series of late. However, I don’t much like the original game, as it reminds me too much of Altered Beast with the change mechanic. The second game lets you change between characters much more fluidly, but it’s the third game that I love the most. If you’re a fan of the changing characters and areas in the first two games then perhaps Sengoku 3 could be less enjoyable, as it eschews the changing for the more traditional character selection at the start of the game (and at continues). (If you like the transforming thing, check out Konami’s Metamorphic Force. I’m not a fan because it feels like a turtles game to me). I love Sengoku 3 because they basically took the best parts of beat ‘em ups over the years (Sengoku 3 is one of the last 2D beat ‘em ups released in the arcade, being from 2001) and made a game of it. You have your urban settings, your dash attacks, your special move/smart bomb/magic-style ninja attacks, and projectiles. True, the added complexity means more buttons, but it never feels overly complicated.

Castle Crashers – well, I haven’t put as much time into it as I’d like (I was away last week) but I bought it as soon as it was available and greatly enjoyed what I’ve found so far. While it still feels more like a hack ‘n’ slash to me, it still has more than enough of a traditional feel to be called a classic-style beat ‘em up. I’ve followed Dan Paladin’s art ever since his early 3D synj works and I think his sense of humor and snappy animation really make The Behemoth’s games what they are. Because of this I’m willing to overlook their bugs, as frustrating as they can be.

So what about my favorites that you didn’t list?

Cadillacs and Dinosaurs – despite being a licensed title it’s still a relative unknown in favorites lists, possibly because of its 1993 vintage (even though a handful of great beat ‘em ups came after, the trend was greatly towards versus games once Street Fighter II hit). I have no idea how well it reflects the original comic book, all I know is that simple “meaty” Final Fight brawling style punctuated by satisfying shotgun blasts (complete with the kind of blood spurts that would earn this a silly M rating these days) makes for a great Capcom game. Plus, in the words of one fan site, “the fact is, this game has dinosaurs, which are awesome and make anything completely awesome simply by being there.”

The Punisher – Capcom followed up Cadillacs and Dinosaurs with another comic book game. I don’t play it nearly as often, but it’s still solid and enjoyable. It’s not as dark as other Punisher material, like the gruesome 2005 Xbox game!

Spider-Man: The Videogame – I feel a little guilty listing this as it’s not strictly a 2.5D brawler (it switches to a 2D platformy perspective for some segments) but I really enjoy playing it. As an early (1991) game it’s fairly bare – very repetitive enemies and movement is slow – but the graphics and sound more than make up for that. I just don’t really understand the reasoning behind including the Sub-Mariner and Hawkeye as playable characters in a Spider-Man game.

Crime Fighters – Coming from Konami, this and its sequel (known as Vendetta in the West) are notable for two things. One, they’re pretty violent as beat ‘em ups go; you can kick people when they’re down, and there’s the rather obvious “nut shot” animation. Secondly, you can’t jump – the two buttons are punch and kick. But that’s okay, because while I’m not a real fan of these games, they spawned the next entry..

Violent Storm – switch off your brain because Crime Fighters is now an incredibly dumb Final Fight knock-off (amusingly so, considering the original game preceded the Final Fight release by a few months) that is pretty damn awesome if you’re looking for a fast-paced simplistic beat ‘em up. Favorite feature? The ability to pick up piglets that turn into footballs when you throw them at people. Come on.

Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon – you know I’ll play anything with “pretty” in the title, but this happens to be a licensed anime game from the series that used to be the face of anime in the US until just a few years ago. Anyway, it’s a bunch of pretty girls fighting a bunch of other girls. The presentation is great, though it feels a bit cheap in terms of difficulty.

Captain Commando – another great Capcom beat ‘em up that doesn’t get much praise for reasons unknown. It actually reminds me of Turtles, probably because the enemies look vaguely similar, but it plays so much better. The characters are insane too – while you can be the generic Captain Commando or ninja, you can also be a mummy or a baby riding a giant robot. The SNES port isn’t nearly as good as the arcade original, so I’m glad it got more exposure through the Capcom Classics releases on the PS2, Xbox, and PSP.

Battle Circuit – and one of Capcom’s last beat ‘em ups is also their wackiest. I’m not wholly enamored with the goofy aliens/sci-fi background, but it’s hard to fault the gameplay and feel. Like many later games such as Viewtiful Joe, you collect coins to choose your own power-ups and special moves. It’s fast-paced and slick, and deserves to be played more.

And from the so bad they’re good pile..

Growl – One of Taito’s lesser-known arcade titles (though it’s featured on the PS2/Xbox Taito Legends 2 release, and got a scaled-down Genesis port), Growl is one of those gaudy, classless games that isn’t particularly good but still has a mysterious draw. It’s like a cross between Cadillacs and Dinosaurs and Indiana Jones, as you go up against.. poachers? On the one hand, there are massive screen-filling explosions, tons of enemies at once, and a level of brutality against female opponents that makes the whole Final Fight thing look silly. On the other, it’s repetitive even for a beat ‘em up. So why do I keep playing it?

Mugsmashers – This is.. just.. wow. Look at this screenshot and tell me it’s not awesome. I don’t think you’re ever going to play this outside of an emulator, but it’s quite glorious. You can’t really call it a bad game, because as horrible as it looks, it plays just fine. Oh, you can hit your partner in this one, leading to lots of hilarious fighting between players.

There are several beat ‘em ups I’d like to track down and play, the first being Three Dirty Dwarves on the Saturn, but ultimately I’m making my own beat ‘em up because I want to play something with that early 90s feel, the “gang of bad guys doing something bad and we have to go get them, damn it” type of game. That’s why with few exceptions, the fantasy beat ‘em ups (like Capcom’s Dungeons & Dragons games) just don’t do it for me. I’m really, really happy about Castle Crashers, but I won’t be happy until I finish my own game

Strider’s also in Marvel vs. Capcom 1 and 2, and Namco X Capcom.

70 bucks? Hm, must’ve been because it was one of the first, if not THE first, 8 MB cartridge. So they could get it as close to the arcade version as possible. The only time I paid 70 bucks for a cartridge game was a couple of Square’s SNES RPGs, like FF6 and Chrono Trigger. –Cary